heart-logo_web.pngDear Dr. Monique,

I am a doctor and I have a 22-year-old friend who believes he is struggling with erectile dysfunction and wants to begin taking Cialis.  What should I say to him? He recently saw his doctor who said he has no medical conditions.

How to help my friend?

Dear Dr. Monique,
I am a doctor and I have a 22-year-old friend who believes he is struggling with erectile dysfunction and wants to begin taking Cialis.  What should I say to him? He recently saw his doctor who said he has no medical conditions.
How to help my friend?

Dear How to help my friend?,
As a doctor it is quite common that friends and relatives seek medical advice.  However as you well know, outside of the doctor-patient relationship we are limited in the advice that we can offer.  Perhaps you can direct your friend to some reputable websites so he can get more sound information on the subject of erectile dysfunction.  Also, if he is dissatisfied with the diagnosis of his current doctor, perhaps you can suggest that he find another doctor for a second opinion.  Be supportive of your friend but don’t get caught up in administering medical care or advice to him.

Dear Dr. Monique,
I met a fantastic guy a few months ago. We have a lot of fun together. He is kind and considerate. He often brings up the fact that many people believe he is gay because he is 47 and single. He brings up the subject so often that I feel like he is trying to tell me something. Should I say something?
Is he trying to tell me something?

Dear Is he trying to tell me something?,
When people mention something often, it suggests to me that it is something with which they are struggling. For your friend, it could be the fact that he is single at 47 or maybe he is unsure about his sexuality.  Whatever it is, avoid getting caught up with his struggles.  Sure, you can still be friendly and polite when he reaches out to you but maintain a comfortable distance in the relationship. And if you no longer wish to date him, don’t feel obliged to do so.

Dear Dr. Monique,
I am on the board of my homeowners’ association and one of my fellow board members has started hitting on me.  It feels kind of strange since I consider him like a work colleague.  What should I do?
It feels kind of strange.


Dear It feels kind of strange,
Although I do not think that you have to put this man in the same category that you do someone at work, the situation could also get pretty uncomfortable if not handled well.  If you are interested in this guy I would not let the joint board membership stop you because a good relationship can be worth far more than that board position. If on the other hand you are not interested try to remain friendly and let him down easily. For example, you can suggest to him that you find it uncomfortable mixing a business relationship with a romantic relationship and you prefer a platonic friendship. Hopefully that way you can maintain a comfortable working relationship and you may even gain a friend.

Dr. Monique is an award-winning graduate of Harvard Medical School, who completed her residency in Obstetrics and Gynecology at Georgetown University Medical Center in Washington DC. She has years of experience in counseling and discussing relationship issues. Ask her your questions at drmonique@sfltimes.com