Go ahead: Ask him out for coffee

Dear Can a woman ask a man out?,
I think it is always appropriate for a woman to ask a man out with the only exception being if she is married or in a committed relationship with someone else.  Don’t try to put any pressure on yourself or your date for it to lead to something else, just go out and have fun.

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Dear Dr. Monique,
How do I deal with someone who is very kind hearted and generous but wants to constantly brag about his generosity and wants to be validated. For example, that person made a generous donation to a charity and always makes it a point to bring it up whenever the name of that charity comes up.
What to do about a bragging friend?

Dear What to do about a bragging friend?,
Unfortunately we have no control over the actions of others, even if we find it distasteful, rude or even annoying.    On the other hand, we do have control over our actions and how we react to other people’s behavior.  You might be able to tolerate this person’s actions better if you try to understand possible reasons for his behavior.   Perhaps, he is insecure or feel underappreciated in life in general.  However, whether or not you can figure it out, try to be empathetic about his actions.  Hopefully, your different view of the situation will make his behavior much more acceptable to you.

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Dear Dr. Monique,
Do you have any advice on how to let someone know to stop giving constant, unsolicited advice – even if it is with good intentions? For example, when she visits you, the advice can start with how to wash dishes all the way to how to feed your kids!
Stopping unsolicited advice

Dear Stopping unsolicited advice,
As I mentioned in the previous answer, we cannot control other people’s behavior, howe
ver we certainly should not have to constantly endure the uncomfortable actions of others in the comfort of our own home.  Nevertheless, it is important to handle this delicately to avoid
offending your guest.  When the advice starts
try to change the subject and redirect the conversation.  Also, think about whether
there is any advice or information from that particular person that might be useful to you.  Sometimes, all people want is an opportunity to share what they know.  Perhaps you can try to redirect them to share things that are interesting to you.

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Dear Dr. Monique,
I went on a few dates with a wonderful kind man who avoids telling me where he works. Every time I bring up the subject he changes the subject. What should I do?
He won’t tell me where he works

Dear He won’t tell me where he works,
If knowing where he works matters enough to you, I would suggest that you ask him directly.  If his answer is still evasive then you are left to decide if you choose to continue the relationship further on these terms.

Dr. Monique is an award-winning graduate of Harvard Medical School, who completed her residency in Obstetrics and Gynecology at Georgetown University Medical Center in Washington DC. She has years of experience in counseling and discussing relationship issues. Ask her your questions at drmonique@sfltimes.com